At the end of the year everyone decides to look back and reflect; well the fact that I’ve been reflecting all year long made me realize that 2009 was quite a year for me. I can almost argue that this last year has been just as much of a whirlwind of emotions as the past decade has been. I entered 2000 with so many hopes and dreams, yet I lacked a right standing relationship with God. That all changed when I came to know Christ as my Lord and Savior and got a new hope, a new way to dream even. But life is not a complete fairytale; one must endure suffering to appreciate the happy ending, which is eternity with our Lord for those of us who believe. I realized that even more in 2009, as I experienced a wide range of feelings from joy and absolute thrill to pain and despair. But as God would have it, I learned a lot…
I learned to be bolder. Why? Cus God is sovereign
God led me to write commentaries in college as a junior that were borderline sermons and I would send them to the editor thinking no way this is going to print. But they always did. Last summer, He gave me the vision for a radio show, but I was apprehensive about discussing Christ on my demo thinking they wouldn’t offer me a slot. To my surprise, they loved it and gave me a show. Many other times I’ve pressed on pass the fear and apprehension and obeyed God and done exactly what He told me to do. Some people would say “I took a stand for God and he blessed me with this, or my obedience produced this many supporters,” but it’s not about who I touched or what I did, the sovereignty of God was what was on display in each situation… I was just a willing vessel for God to use for His own glory. It wasn’t those in authority, nor my talent, and not even my boldness that got the message in my heart out to the newspaper and airwaves…the credit belongs to the sovereign God. He reinforced the truth that if he told me to do something, I need not fear that I would be prevented from doing it because His will would prevail regardless…He fulfills His purpose for me. (Psalm 57:2)
I learned to never let little things, namely your own imperfect (yet feigning perfection) self, threaten your relationship with family or friends.
It’s amazing that as believers we know we’re continually growing yet we get to a place where we think we’ve got life in Christ all figured out. Sadly, it’s at that point we feel we have the right to tell everyone, even those we care about the most, what they’re doing wrong, with no love in our hearts. But it’s now obvious to me that if you ever get to a point where you can see everyone’s flaws, then you’re looking around too much. Of course godly advice and criticism are needed for growth, but often times we’re just flat-out being judgmental jerks…at least that’s what I’ve been too many times this year and those prior. Everyone won’t agree on politics, preferences, etc. not even your closest friends sometimes, but don’t make a mountain of a molehill…keep the main thing the main thing. And don’t do or say anything without love.
After recognizing some divine intervention, which thwarted my ambitions three years ago, I said I would seek God’s will with my whole heart…but that’s all I did…say it. On the outside I moved on, but inside a part of me still yearned to see my former ambitions fulfilled. Some people thought it was reasonable for me to still have those feelings, but not God. What I didn’t realize was that me still holding on to the past was really proof that I didn’t trust God with my future. I didn’t wholeheartedly have faith in His plans for my life. Then came His amazing grace and mercy. I was serving God with a divided heart, still tormented by thoughts of what could have been and not sure of what would be. But rather than letting me continue on this path of eventual self-destruction, God brought His own loving destruction; a thorn of sorts that rocked me to my core and held my peace captive until I dealt with the divisions in my heart. And although it’s become more than cliché, that ordeal made me realize letting go and letting God is serious business. It’s not just about seizing to worry or letting God deal with your naysayers, it’s letting go of your will and your plans and giving yourself over to His.
And the last and perhaps one of the most important lessons I learned in the past decade was to never give man the power to dictate what you believe or how you live.
It’s sickening that there are people in ministry who bring their own agenda and/or distorted doctrine to the pulpit. Even worse, their charisma and passion of their convictions spills over to their flock who become mesmerized by their leader, and begin taking their word without regard for the truth of God’s word. I was there twice in the last 10 years, and although I was naïve the first time, the latter occasion I put man before God and gave him reign over my beliefs. Thankfully, God showed me that you can love your pastor and respect his teaching, but you must get to know God for yourself and let His word, not those of others, serve as your ultimate guide.
Maybe not as dangerous, but still damaging to you is letting other people’s preferences and viewpoints determine your own. Sometimes we see someone who sets a godly example and we give them a high level of influence on how we live our lives--what we abstain from and what we indulge in. I’ve been there too many times before; I’ve stopped enjoying something because they didn’t enjoy it and vice versa. I was finally awakened when I realized they indulged in something I was just not with, preferentially…And that’s what some things really come down to--preferences. You will find yourself tossed about trying to follow what others do without ever gaining a personal realization, followed by conviction, just solely adopting theirs. Many things come down to a yea or nay biblically, but then there are those that rely on discretion and personal conviction. But as long as one is seeking God and not solely their own pleasure even your preferences will please Him.
